the roommate review scale.

0: don’t-even-plate-that-shit revolting

1: wouldn’t-eat-it-if-you-paid-me disgusting

2: might-try-it-if-it-wasn’t-raw/burnt gross

3: i’ll-try-it-but-only-because-you’re-on-the-verge-of-tears blerrrgh

4: not-bad-but-not-good meh

5: better-than-KD-again decent 

6: i’d-eat-it-again good

7: if-you-added-____-it’d-be great

8: is-there-more? delicious

9: lick-the-plate-and-drink-the-dish-water fantastic

10: roll-your-eyes-back-into-your-head-and-moan orgasmic

10+: [censored]

roommate: (n) from the latin “roommatius” meaning a subject of edible experimentation.

i have three roommates who have been hungry kind enough to sample my culinary concoctions. i fill their plates, they fill out comment cards. 

not really.

but they do give feedback.

**side note: this feedback is often biased and slightly exaggerated by a disease they suffer from. of course, i am referring to the horrible epidemic known asuniversitystudentitis, an affliction that plagues campuses across the world. 

universitystudentitis: (n) an airborn virus that spreads rapidly and peaks during exam periods. symptoms: loss of will to cook, flavour apathy, shortness of tastebud and general dissatisfaction. treatment: home-cooked meals and baked goods.